THE STRUGGLE TO BE HUMAN

You know, Joe, I had a strong reaction reading this. Even with 1000 flaws and some sketchy spots in my history, I’m a fulfilled guy, secure, able to be alone for long stretches, showing respect to couples by not letting little attractions break other people up (I see that misery all the time and it comes from the syndrome you mentioned — people who can’t be alone, and need distractions to keep from looking deep within, and they don’t care if their needs run head-on into others’ lives, but to practice that discipline is to walk a rarely used path, and how I wish it had been practiced by others when I could have used that consideration) — I think I shed a tear at recognizing the quiet nobility of that “good man” you describe, how hard I’ve tried to get there, how close I’ve come, how many times I’ve fallen short, and how much work it is to grow up and be a man as you describe it — hell, I can even sew, I was taught when I was 9 ……how our lives are never a finished painting or a perfect literary description: the “edit” button is always there; even a pdf can be converted back if you need to make changes. I’m glad you see it and that other readers do as well, it’s worth every hard-fought day, every enemy you make for the cruelties you won‘t let pass, every difficult truth you uncover that cuts you like glass ……the people you describe, I know them when I see them and I hope they are recognized in life, not just on paper, not to be praised or idealized as that’s a trap too, but to give us a little light, show us a quality we hadn’t quite understood, a strength with dimensions we hadn’t considered …… one more infinitesimal inspiration that will push the struggle to be human that much further along, and we haven’t even gotten to love yet, and sharing lives …… it’s out there, and I suppose we all approach it as best suits us. Thanks for getting deep into something we rarely face. We can handle the truth; the hard part is gaining the clarity to recognize it.